I'm a very competitive person. So comparing myself to others is something I do regularly.
I want to know how I stack up versus the best.
As I mentioned in this post, I hate losing. Comparing myself to those I see as someone "ahead" of me adds fuel to my fire and pushes me to work harder.
Comparison, however, is the thief of joy.
I’m in a Facebook group with other microgym owners who are part of the same mentoring program as I am. I regularly see them post about their successes and I often end up feeling like I’m failing by comparison. Even though this motivates me to get better, it can also feel deflating.
It’s the keeping up with the Jones’ for business.
The truth is comparing yourself to others, never tells the full story. We are often comparing our lowlights, to others’ highlights.
This is one of the dangers of social media. We are only looking at “like worthy” posts. Successful transformations. Beautiful destinations. Heartfelt Proclamations.
My guess is all this isn’t news to you. And frankly, knowing that comparison is the thief of joy doesn’t help you do anything about that. So here are my tips for you can actually do to stay in a positive frame of mind.
- Name it. Bring awareness to your thoughts. Saying something as simple as, “I’m choosing to compare myself to others and it’s stealing my joy”. The key word there is choosing. Because it is a choice.
- Take action and unfollow. If scrolling through your social media timeline makes you sad, start unfollowing any and every account the moment you notice those negative thoughts. Trust me, you won’t miss them. (If you feel like unfollowing isn’t an option, mute, or hide them...there’s ways to not see an account’s posts without unfollowing them).
- Focus on YOUR bright spots. It’s okay for others to have their own accomplishments. Someone else may have what you want, but that’s not a reason to not celebrate what you currently have. Be proactive about finding reasons to be happy as you are.
All that said, I don’t think striving for more or better is bad. I don’t think you should become complicit as you are and never work to improve yourself. Just acknowledge what you have done so far, and be happy that if others have what you want, it means it’s possible for you as well!
If you have a specific goal you’re wanting to achieve, talk to a coach to schedule a goal review session and we can help you get there too!